OPENING: PROFESSIONAL HACKER
Do you have mad computer skills? Are you good at working on your own? Do you thrive in an a challenging environment?
If the answer is ‘yes’, you just might have what it takes to become a professional athlete. Do you like to find backdoors and secrets hidden in video games and escape rooms? Are you sick of "the man" keeping the people down?
Then maybe you're the right candidate for this job!
We're looking for candidates with natural talent, determination, technique and self-discipline.
Job Requirements: Coding, hacking, and advanced computer literacy. Sitting at a state of the art hacking desk for multiple hours, late nights, and some weekends.
Compensation: Commensurate with experience and talent; very competitive salary.
To apply, send your resume and cover letter to Agent Kurutz, firstname.lastname@example.org, by 11:59pm on Saturday, February 27.
OPENING: DR. FAUCI'S SUCCESSOR
Are you a dynamic mediator who can work with people from different backgrounds? Can you hold your own in a debate, take advice from and delegate to an enormous staff of professionals and aids, and rock a tiny flag pin? Do you want to help people with your extensive medical knowledge and mad research skills?
We're seeking Dr. Anthony Fauci's successor. Is that you?
Requirements: Must be an incredible leader. Medical degree and some experience ideal
Basic compensation: Grant writing a must to supplement your publicly-funded salary.
Risks: Exposure to disease, good chance the public won't believe you.
To apply, send your resume and cover letter to White House Manger Bri Kurutz, email@example.com, , by 11:59pm on Saturday, February 27.
OPENINGS: FBI SPECIAL AGENT
While individuals of all backgrounds are highly encouraged to apply to be an FBI Special Agent, we’re specifically seeking individuals with degrees in the following fields:
SCIENCE, TECHNOLOGY, ENGINEERING AND MATH (STEM)
LINGUISTS, especially those with expertise in Arabic, Bosnian, Chinese, Farsi, Russian, Spanish, Somali, Uzbek, Korean, or Portuguese.
Being a Special Agent can be a lifelong career of uncommon days and amazing experiences.
What you’ll need to succeed:
An ability to think on your feet and be a team player.
A high-level of physical fitness necessary to effectively respond to life-threatening situations on the job.
Exceptional problem-solving and analytical skills.
Be detail-oriented, yet keep a strategic focus.
Ability to objectively evaluate information and make sound judgements.
Honesty and integrity must be the foundation of who you are.
The drive and commitment to make a difference in the communities you serve.
All applicants are evaluated on core competencies of collaboration, communication, flexibility/adaptability, initiative, interpersonal ability, leadership, organizing/planning and problem solving/judgment.
The FBI Special Agent position requires significant commitment and dedication from you and your family, but it’s an experience you will never forget. As a Special Agent, you will join an elite team of people committed to the highest standards. Our team has a critical mission and our people are sought after as some of the best in their fields.
Be at least 23 years old and not have reached your 37th birthday on appointment [we will waive for exceptional candidates].
Meet all FBI physical requirements, be physically fit to complete training at the FBI Academy in Quantico, VA, and maintain a high level of fitness throughout your career.
Salary: $62,556.00 to $80,721.00 /year
To apply, send your resume and cover letter to Special Agent Bri Kurutz, via email: firstname.lastname@example.org , by 11:59pm on Saturday, February 27.
OPENING: SOCIAL MEDIA INFLUENCER
A Social Media Influencer is a user on social media who has access to an audience and can persuade others by virtue of their authenticity and reach. If you believe that you are a people-person and can communicate and get along with others we would like to speak with you.
Must be able to juggle multiple tasks simultaneously.
Can see the forest for the trees and keep the big-picture goals in mind when working on a social media influencer campaign.
Knowledge of various social media platforms, content management systems, and other software (like MS Office and Google Docs).
Someone with management and marketing experience; a type-A super-organized sort who’s flexible and able to roll with the punches.
We are a fun-loving start-up looking for people to join the team early and grow with us.
Starting salary: $70,000-80,000
If you are interested in this position, please send your resume and cover letter to our Senior VP of Socialism, Bri Kurutz, via email: email@example.com , by 11:59pm on Saturday, February 27.
OPENING: TEACHER OF THE YEAR
We are both a team and family who leverage passionate people to be the best teachers and leaders that they can be. We work beside each other to make what most people say is impossible, happen.
Who You Are:
A go-getter that will move mountains to do what is best for our students and team
An encourager that recognizes the power and potential within all students
A life-long learner that continuously strives to be a better version of themselves through learning, improving and being hungry for feedback
A jovial giant who knows that with learning comes joy, love and laughter
A gritty problem-solver who approaches challenges with smart solutions in mind
A detail maven who plans backwards to meet timelines and manage complex projects
A data-driven analyst who reflects and takes swift action based on results
A proactive communicator who reaches out to students, families, and teammates
The Fine Print:
Required: All candidates must be working toward a Bachelor’s degree.
Preferred. Prior experience teaching and working in a low-income community is preferred but not required.
Benefits: Salary is competitive and commensurate based on experience, starting at $41,000. Additionally, Henderson Collegiate offers a full benefits package. Teachers receive a laptop computer and are provided with classroom technology and software.
To apply, send a resume and cover letter to Head of School, Bri Kurutz, firstname.lastname@example.org , by 11:59pm on Saturday, February 27.