OPENING: PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE
Are you ‘absolutely rapid’ like Usain Bolt? Do you have ‘unbelievable tekkers’ like Neymar? Can you hit a cross-court winner like Maria Sharapova? Are you a multi-event maestro like Jessica Ennis? More importantly, do you have the drive, ambition and natural talent to make it to the top of your sport?
If the answer is ‘yes’, you just might have what it takes to become a professional athlete.
We're looking for candidates with natural talent, determination, strength, fitness, technique and self-discipline.
Job Requirements: You will be required to travel all over the world to compete in sporting events, which may involve working weekends and national holidays from time to time. Training will be a daily occurrence. With the guidance of your coach, you will train almost every day of the year, refining your technique, building your strength, increasing your stamina and working on tactics.
Compensation: Commensurate with experience and talent; team agents will assist in procuring endorsement deals as well.
To apply, send your resume and cover letter to Coach Earls,
Are you a dynamic mediator who can work with people from different backgrounds? Can you hold your own in a debate, take advice from and delegate to an enormous staff of professionals and aids, and rock a tiny flag pin? Do you have the stamina for 24/7, four-year service to the greatest country in the world? Are you proud to be an American? Then you should apply to be President of the United States.
Requirements: Must be an incredible leader. No education or previous employment can truly prepare you for this position, but governing experience of some kind would be nice.
Basic compensation: Base salary of $400,000 per year, as well as $50,000 per year for expenses related to job functions, $100,000 for travel, a pension for retirement, and full room and board at the White House.
Risks: Premature aging, exposure of all the skeletons in your closet, possible assassination (especially if you're someone who shakes things up), and making terrible decisions that will be scrutinized by the public and historians for centuries to come.
To apply, send your resume and cover letter to White House Manger Dr. Averill Earls,
OPENINGS: FBI SPECIAL AGENT
While individuals of all backgrounds are highly encouraged to apply to be an FBI Special Agent, we’re specifically seeking individuals with degrees in the following fields:
SCIENCE, TECHNOLOGY, ENGINEERING AND MATH (STEM)
LINGUISTS, especially those with expertise in Arabic, Bosnian, Chinese, Farsi, Russian, Spanish, Somali, Uzbek, Korean, or Portuguese.
Being a Special Agent can be a lifelong career of uncommon days and amazing experiences.
What you’ll need to succeed:
An ability to think on your feet and be a team player.
A high-level of physical fitness necessary to effectively respond to life-threatening situations on the job.
Exceptional problem-solving and analytical skills.
Be detail-oriented, yet keep a strategic focus.
Ability to objectively evaluate information and make sound judgements.
Honesty and integrity must be the foundation of who you are.
The drive and commitment to make a difference in the communities you serve.
All applicants are evaluated on core competencies of collaboration, communication, flexibility/adaptability, initiative, interpersonal ability, leadership, organizing/planning and problem solving/judgment.
The FBI Special Agent position requires significant commitment and dedication from you and your family, but it’s an experience you will never forget. As a Special Agent, you will join an elite team of people committed to the highest standards. Our team has a critical mission and our people are sought after as some of the best in their fields.
Be at least 23 years old and not have reached your 37th birthday on appointment [we will waive for exceptional candidates].
Meet all FBI physical requirements, be physically fit to complete training at the FBI Academy in Quantico, VA, and maintain a high level of fitness throughout your career.
Salary: $62,556.00 to $80,721.00 /year
To apply, send your resume and cover letter to Special Agent Maddie Boorse,
OPENING: RESIDENT ASSISTANT
The Residence Life and Student Conduct Office is very excited that you are considering applying to be a Resident Assistant (RA) for the 2020-2021 academic year! You are on your way to an opportunity that will make your Mercyhurst experience unforgettable.
The process includes an application (with essay questions and three references), a group process interview, and an individual interview. While we evaluate you based on your interviewing skills and all the information you provide, please remain relaxed and show us who you truly are!
We are looking for Mercyhurst students who are:
both leaders and team members
We seek student who are diverse in their academic fields, interests, cultures and backgrounds.
What do you hope to gain from becoming an RA? You may not have thought about it beyond getting your free single room, board, or stipend; however, being a successful and impactful RA requires a great deal of patience, sensitivity, and dedication. RAs give a tremendous amount of their time and energy to make living at Mercyhurst memorable. They develop valuable skills in event management, budgeting, conflict mediation, and crisis management.
Salary: Room & Board + stipend.
Applications are due no later than January 31, 2020.
Thank you for considering the Resident Assistant position.
To apply, send your cover letter and resume via email Averill Earls to email@example.com.
(This is the real job ad, and if you want to apply, contact Chris Lewand at firstname.lastname@example.org with any questions and apply here: https://www.mercyhurst.edu/campus-life/residence-life/resident-assistant-applications)
OPENING: SOCIAL MEDIA INFLUENCER
A Social Media Influencer is a user on social media who has access to an audience and can persuade others by virtue of their authenticity and reach. If you believe that you are a people-person and can communicate and get along with others we would like to speak with you.
Must be able to juggle multiple tasks simultaneously.
Can see the forest for the trees and keep the big-picture goals in mind when working on a social media influencer campaign.
Knowledge of various social media platforms, content management systems, and other software (like MS Office and Google Docs).
Someone with management and marketing experience; a type-A super-organized sort who’s flexible and able to roll with the punches.
We are a fun-loving start-up looking for people to join the team early and grow with us.
Starting salary: $70,000-80,000
If you are interested in this position, please send your resume and cover letter to our Senior VP of Socialism, Maddie Boorse, via email: email@example.com
We are both a team and family who leverage passionate people to be the best teachers and leaders that they can be. We work beside each other to make what most people say is impossible, happen.
Who You Are:
A go-getter that will move mountains to do what is best for our students and team
An encourager that recognizes the power and potential within all students
A life-long learner that continuously strives to be a better version of themselves through learning, improving and being hungry for feedback
A jovial giant who knows that with learning comes joy, love and laughter
A gritty problem-solver who approaches challenges with smart solutions in mind
A detail maven who plans backwards to meet timelines and manage complex projects
A data-driven analyst who reflects and takes swift action based on results
A proactive communicator who reaches out to students, families, and teammates
The Fine Print:
Required: All candidates must be working toward a Bachelor’s degree.
Preferred. Prior experience teaching and working in a low-income community is preferred but not required.
Benefits: Salary is competitive and commensurate based on experience, starting at $41,000. Additionally, Henderson Collegiate offers a full benefits package. Teachers receive a laptop computer and are provided with classroom technology and software.
To apply, send a resume and cover letter to Head of School, Dr. Averill Earls, PhD, , by 11:59pm on Saturday, February 1.